Sunday, February 6, 2011

Week 6: A work in progress

Hello all!!
After my amazing "mini get away" week-end with Kevin last week, I felt ready to take on the world........well.....all I took on was weight!!!!

I didn't sleep well Sunday night, I woke up tired and cranky on Monday morning and the rest of the week just seemed to follow along those same lines. As the week wore on, my mood just got progressively worse! The amount of snow falling didn't help to put me in a better mood.  Have I mentioned, I HATE WINTER! I can't wait for it to be over!

Of course, when I'm tired and cranky I EAT!  I was too lazy to cook supper twice during the week and so we ordered take-out. When I order take out, even the better choices are not fantastic IYKWIM.

Then I ate some leftover christmas Chocolate eggies (damn those little f*#&ers are tasty). I had bread and peanut butter as a snack instead of fruit and didn't track for 2 days!!

I had officially fallen off the wagon!!

My mom asked me if I was going to go to Weight Watchers this week. I had expected to get my 5% weight loss reward this week and realizing that due to my crappy food choices I wouldn't get it, I was tempted to say no.

That would have been the easy way out. I messed up, I failed......again!

Instead what I did surprised even me!  I decided to go & "face the music".

Saturday morning even before going to Weight Watchers I hauled my fat behind off the ground and back up on the wagon.

I took a nice walk over to my meeting and got on the scale. I gained 0.4lbs.  I wasn't surprised.  The Weight Watcher lady didn't laugh at me, didn't wag her finger at me and didn't say "I told you so!!".  She smiled and said....."some weeks are harder than others. Today is a new day and you can start over!"

I stayed for the meeting and by the end I felt less guilty and much less like a failure. I walked home with a bounce in my step!

I still have alot of work to do. I need to find better ways to deal with fatigue, anxiety and lonliness. I know food can't be the answer, but I haven't yet found something to take it's place! 

I am definitely a work in progress!  I am still a rough draft, but at least now I am starting to have a better idea of who I aspire to be!

These are the challenges I'm setting for myself for 2011:
1. to loose 1lb each week for the next 52 weeks. Hopefully, I will be back on track next week
2. to blog at least once each week to show my progress. DONE
3. to incorporate a minimum of 90mins of physical activity each week. I only did 25mins this week but I am trying to continue to increase this number next week.
4. to make a point of telling the people around me that they are important to me and that they are loved on a regular basis. DONE
5. to spend more quality time with my daughter. DONE
6. to meditate at least 10mins each day. DONE
7. to raise a minimum of 2000$ for the August 2011 Week-end to end Women's Cancers. I have raised 320$ so far.
8. to buy more local produce and meats and eat less processed foods. DONE by monitoring labels and asking questions.
9. to recycle more diligently DONE by not only recycling in the house, but also in my daycare.
10. to smile more!!!!!! DONE

Week 1: 233lbs
Week 2: 228lbs
Week 3: 225.8lbs
Week 4: 224.4lbs
Week 5: 222.4lbs  (total weight loss so far 10.6lbs)
Week 6: 222.8lbs

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Week 5: Feeling good!

Hello all!!
I'm a day late to write up my blog entry.....but worry not......it's not because I'm lazy or I've given up.......I was away for the week-end.

Ok.....you can be jealous if you want!  I would be.

Because of our amazing support system (my parents & Sonia to be exact), Kevin & I were lucky enough to spend a week-end in the lap of luxury.

We spent 2 days in a downtown hotel....childless.......aaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!

We partied with amazing friends. We saw a fantastic show at the Bell Centre. We slept in (sweet and utter bliss). We swam. We walked downtown. We saw a movie and we ate good food.  What was the best part of the whole week-end? That's really quite simple, the best part of the ween-end, was relaxing and re-connecting with Kevin.

Being parents, you often forget how to act like a couple. However, in order to continue to be great parents together, I believe you should also have a very healthy relationship as a couple.

Often, it's as simple as a stolen kiss when no one is looking, or a quiet talk in bed before sleep. Sometimes a little more is required. That's where our week-end comes in. 

We were able to step away from work, responsibilities, chores and yes even parenting for 2 whole days. We were able to concentrate on one another without any distractions.

Did we miss our daughter??? Of course????? Was I happy to hug and kiss her when we got home?? Of course?? Did the time away do us all good???? Hell yeah!!!!!

I think both Kevin & I feel refreshed and recharged and ready to take on the world....or at the very least the next work week!!!

Now, through all this relaxation and fun...did I manage to continue to think about healthy living?  Yup....and as a matter of fact, being in such a "happy" headspace over the week-end, actually made it quite easy to do.

I missed my regular weekly weight watcher meeting. Instead of letting this be a free pass to do as I pleased, I found a meeting near the hotel and got weighed anyways.  I also walked everywhere this week-end. I walked to & from the movies, the concert, the shopping and even the restaurants! I also swam. Instead of my usual lounging and floating in the pool, I actually did laps! It felt great.

I ate out and indulged with a little alcohol and even a late night poutine at La Banquise (OMG...while the poutine was amazing...I felt so old...the average age of the clientele must be like 20!!), however most of my meals were healthy and smart. 

I felt empowered by my smart decisions, which made me feel and continues to make me feel successful at my new lifestyle and weight loss journey.

I can honestly say that I've had some difficult days in the last month and I'm sure there will be more difficult days in the coming year, but even the difficult days are manageable with the support of amazing loved ones.

I am surrounded by family and friends who love me even with all my faults and flaws! They take me as I am and only want the best for me.  I am one lucky girl!!!

Today I want to send love out to my Mom & Dad, Sonia, my husband Kevin & my daughter Kearsey.

Ok, so like every week....after blabbering about what I did & what I ate...you all must want to know if I managed to loose any weight..........YES!!!!

I lost another 2 lbs this week!!!

These are the challenges I'm setting for myself for 2011:
1. to loose 1lb each week for the next 52 weeks. DONE
2. to blog at least once each week to show my progress. DONE
3. to incorporate a minimum of 90mins of physical activity each week. I did 60mins this week but it is 15mins more than last week and I plan to increase this number next week.
4. to make a point of telling the people around me that they are important to me and that they are loved on a regular basis. DONE
5. to spend more quality time with my daughter. Not this week as I was away, but we are spending the afternoon playing My little ponies...hehe
6. to meditate at least 10mins each day. DONE
7. to raise a minimum of 2000$ for the August 2011 Week-end to end Women's Cancers. I have raised 320$ so far.
8. to buy more local produce and meats and eat less processed foods. DONE by monitoring labels and asking questions.
9. to recycle more diligently DONE by not only recycling in the house, but also in my daycare.
10. to smile more!!!!!! DONE

Week 1: 233lbs
Week 2: 228lbs
Week 3: 225.8lbs
Week 4: 224.4lbs
Week 5: 222.4lbs  (total weight loss so far 10.6lbs)

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Week 4: A hectic week

Hello all!!
Well, this week was better than last week! No skittle incidents and no other sneaky little sugary critters mysteriously found their way into my mouth!

Of course that might be because I had no time to feel deprived. I was busy like crazy, and in between working 2 jobs I got sick. Nothing like a stomach bug to allow you to stay away from bad food!!!

I ate at the restaurant twice this week. I managed to eat delicious food, feel totally satisfied and stay within my points.  I am tapping myself on the back right now!!!  Even with my little indulgences, I made smart decisions and had no feelings of guilt this week. I am definitely proud of that!

Amongst all the other things going on this week, I had the chance to visit my old elementary school. Kevin & I attended an open house at Edward Murphy School because this is where Kearsey will be going as of September.

Walking into the school, I was suprised to see so many things unchanged. It was the same peaceful place I recalled as a child....except for the water fountain which seemed so much smaller than I remembered....lol

We were taken on a tour by a lovely little blond girl of about 10-11yrs old. She was smart, outgoing, funny and quite pretty (what I imagine and hope Kearsey will be like at that age). She talked to us about the education program, the teachers, the facilities, about the extra activities and the public service work the students do.

I realized then, that alot had changed.

When I was there, there were no activities and no public service work. I was beyond excited for Kearsey! She will be able to choose from various sports, knitting, playing music, art and local volunteer work. She will be able to explore all sorts of activities and be able to find things that she is truly talented at or truly passionate about.

I'm 32 and still don't know what I'm passionate about. I love my life and my job, but I have yet to find my passion! What am I really good at? What do I love to do???

Part of this journey is about learning who I am. Looking deep within and celebrating my strengths and working on my weaknesses. I hope by doing this I'll be able to be more "authentic" (yes, i realize I sound like a cheesy version of an Oprah Winfrey show, but I can't help it!). By being more true, I'm certain I'll be able to stop doubting myself so much. I hope that I will be able to have the courage to get out there and explore knitting and sports and community service (or whatever it is I actually want to try) and hopefully I can find my passion!

Did I loose weight.....yup!!!! I lost 1.4lbs this week!!!!!!

These are the challenges I'm setting for myself for 2011:
1. to loose 1lb each week for the next 52 weeks. DONE
2. to blog at least once each week to show my progress. DONE
3. to incorporate a minimum of 90mins of physical activity each week. I only did 45mins this week but it is 5mins more than last week and I plan to increase this number next week.
4. to make a point of telling the people around me that they are important to me and that they are loved on a regular basis. DONE
5. to spend more quality time with my daughter.DONE
6. to meditate at least 10mins each day. DONE
7. to raise a minimum of 2000$ for the August 2011 Week-end to end Women's Cancers. I have raised 320$ so far.
8. to buy more local produce and meats and eat less processed foods. DONE by monitoring labels and asking questions.
9. to recycle more diligently DONE by not only recycling in the house, but also in my daycare.
10. to smile more!!!!!! DONE

Week 1: 233lbs
Week 2: 228lbs
Week 3: 225.8lbs
Week 4: 224.4lbs

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Week 3: Let the speed bumps begin!

Hello all!!!
This week was a rough one. I was tired, grumpy and hungry! Well, not really hungry per se. I wasn't physically hungry, but I wanted to eat.....everything!

I had a great week-end. I had fun with my family, my friends, even went to the restaurant and had a lovely dessert. I should not have started the new week feeling deprived or hungry, but Monday night, sitting alone with the TV I decided I wanted to have a few skittles anyways.

What happened next will from this day forward be known as the "Great Skittle incident of 2011 or GSI".
I knew what a serving was, but instead of just taking out what i could eat from the bag, i brought it downstairs & sat down to watch a marathon session of Charmed. 3 episodes later, I'd finished the bag of skittles........5 servings worth to be exact........I went to bed that night feeling nauseous and with a wicked case of heartburn and guilt!

The next morning I felt like quitting. What's the point right? I'm working so hard and I can ruin all my hard work with a few skittles....ok well maybe a whole bunch of the darn things!!! I mean, I'm a quitter. That's what I seem to do best. So even though I'm writing a blog, no one would be surprised for me to give up. Who would care anyways????????

I had to literally tell myself to shut up and stop the negative self talk, it was going to do me in!

I didn't quit though, I had a healthy breakfast and tried to put the GSI out of my mind.

The next few days were good. I ate well, moved more and felt really good about myself.

Then last night happened. I went out to eat. I ordered a healthy meal and it tasted fantastic. I managed to make a smart decision and stay within my alloted Weight Watcher points for the day. I was proud of myself and how did I reward myself you think??????? With creme brulee of course! I ate it all and it tasted good. Was it worth it? Absolutely not!

I was already full after the delicious meal, so there was no reason whatsoever for me to have the dessert. I actually tried to convince myself that since it was included with the meal, in order to get my money's worth I should have the dessert.  Even I'm not that stupid though, i couldn't even convince myself of that!

I did figure something out about myself through all of this though. While I find it easy to blame others for my bad decisions, my worst enemy at the end of the day is ME!!! No one else but ME.

This is something I have to work on. I should be my number 1 fan, not my worst enemy!

The difference between the GSI and the creme brulee, is while I still feel a little guilty, I didn't consider quitting. I just said this was one bad meal, the next one will be all about smart and healthy decisions!

Did I loose weight.....yup!!!! I lost 2.2lbs this week!!!!!!

These are the challenges I'm setting for myself for 2011:
1. to loose 1lb each week for the next 52 weeks. DONE
2. to blog at least once each week to show my progress. DONE
3. to incorporate a minimum of 90mins of physical activity each week. I only did 40mins this week but it is 5mins more than last week and I plan to increase this number next week.
4. to make a point of telling the people around me that they are important to me and that they are loved on a regular basis. DONE
5. to spend more quality time with my daughter.DONE
6. to meditate at least 10mins each day. DONE
7. to raise a minimum of 2000$ for the August 2011 Week-end to end Women's Cancers. I have raised 320$ so far.
8. to buy more local produce and meats and eat less processed foods. DONE by monitoring labels and asking questions.
9. to recycle more diligently DONE by not only recycling in the house, but also in my daycare.
10. to smile more!!!!!! DONE

Week 1: 233lbs
Week 2: 228lbs
Week 3: 225.8lbs

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Week 2: The challenge is on!!

So here we are, the beginning of week 2 and guess what...I'm still doing the challenge!!
This may seem like nothing to most of you, but those who know me, know that I often start things and don't finish them. 7days is probably some kind of record for me.....sad....but nonetheless true!
I have been getting some really positive feedback about my blog, which is in turn helping me to stay on track. THANK YOU!!!
This week I focused on 2 things. Making smart food choices and meditating.
Following weight watchers is allowing me to think before I eat..."am I really hungry?, is this particular food going to help or hinder me?"..etc...
As of today, I'd say 7 out of 10 times I ask the question and wait for the response before eating. While that isn't perfect, it's sure better than just stuffing my face with whatever is placed in front of me.
Everyday this week I made smart food choices except for yesterday. I went out shopping and the first thing I did when I got to the mall was buy a muffin. I did it without thinking...bad habits! I ate the muffin...it tasted damn good, but I wasn't even done and I was already feeling guilty!
Some of you might be saying...geez if you can't eat a muffin, this isn't a plan that will work in the long run!!! The thing is, I can eat a muffin, nothing wrong with that...if you plan for it. I didn't. I had already had breakfast & had plans to eat out at lunch....my day was shot.
When i got home, I felt stupid and worthless and I felt like ordering a big fat poutine for supper to drown my sorrows!  However, what I did instead was kick myself in the arse. I made an egg white omellet with ham, tomatoes, mushrooms, onions, herbs and spices. It was darn good and it brought my spirits back up.  I was full and I didn't let one meal derail my success!!!  I'm proud of me!
The second thing I worked on is meditation. This week I meditated for 5 minutes in the morning before my first daycare child arrived. I want to try and center myself before the craziness begins. I am still learning how to focus and relax, but already I am noticing a difference. I swear that those 5 minutes are like an extra 30minutes of sleep!!!!
Also I now do a 10-15minute meditation session in bed at night with Kevin and it has done wonders for our sleep.  It allows you to clear your head (as much as possible) and prepare for the night. When the meditation ends (I use an Iphone app), we just basically fall asleep!!! Simple as that.  I still get the giggles in bed listening to the meditation, but it does actually work.  When the F@#K did I become a person who meditates...hehe...i used to laugh at those "hippy folk"....now I have become one of them.......lol
Anyways, I am chalking this week up as a success!!!!!  Ok, i am sure you all want to know if while i was meditating and eating well I was loosing weight??????????????????????????
Why yes I was!!! I lost 5lbs!!!!  I know it was the first week and I don't expect to loose this much every week, but it certainly was a motivation booster!
These are the challenges I'm setting for myself for 2011:
1. to loose 1lb each week for the next 52 weeks. DONE
2. to blog at least once each week to show my progress. DONE
3. to incorporate a minimum of 90mins of physical activity each week. I only did 35mins this week and plan to increase this number next week.
4. to make a point of telling the people around me that they are important to me and that they are loved on a regular basis. DONE
5. to spend more quality time with my daughter.DONE
6. to meditate at least 10mins each day. DONE
7. to raise a minimum of 2000$ for the August 2011 Week-end to end Women's Cancers. I have raised 300$ so far, but none this year yet, so I will have to get working on this.
8. to buy more local produce and meats and eat less processed foods. DONE by monitoring labels and asking questions.
9. to recycle more diligently DONE by not only recycling in the house, but also in my daycare.
10. to smile more!!!!!! DONE

Week 1: 233lbs
Week 2: 228lbs

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Welcome to week 1!

Ok, so here it is. January 1st, 2011 and I'm starting fresh.
I'm not a writer, nor do I pretend to be. I want to put that out there right away!!
I've created this blog for several reasons. I want to journal the successes and challenges of the 52 weeks ahead of me while holding myself accountable for the goals I'm setting. I also want to hopefully inspire one other person to stop complaining about their current situation and to get off their butts and do something about it!!

A little about me......I'm 32. I'm married. I'm a Mom. That's me in a nutshell!
I'm 5'2'' and weigh in at......wait for it.............gasp........233lbs!

When I saw that number on the scale last week I almost fainted! That's when I came up with this plan.

I'm tired of feeling sluggish, of getting colds, of having indigestion, of having gas, of having sore joints, of hating the way I look in pictures, of having trouble walking up a flight of stairs, of having trouble getting down on the floor to play barbies with my daughter and I'm simply tired of being OBESE!

I have been tired of this for a long time, but instead of doing something about it, I just complained about it.

Today is different. I'm doing something about it!

I joined weight watchers. However I'm fully aware that this alone will not mean success. Proof....I've tried before, lost weight and then promptly put it back on and then some!

In order for weight loss to be successful and permanent, it has to be accompanied by several other things.

This is the first time that I will attempt (scratch that.....). This is the time that I WILL SUCCEED, because not only will I eat better, but i will better my whole self....mind, body and spirit!

The challenge is simple. To loose 1lb each week for the next 52 weeks. While I would need to loose more than 52lbs to be at my "healthy body weight". I think 1lb a week is reasonable, safe and attainable.

I plan on doing this challenge by making smarter choices for myself including eating better, being more physically active and following my spiritual path to happiness. I also believe that by making smarter choices for myself and my family, we will be able to reduce our carbon footprint and be more responsible human beings in the process.

These are the challenges I'm setting for myself for 2011:
1. to loose 1lb each week for the next 52 weeks.
2. to blog at least once each week to show my progress.
3. to incorporate a minimum of 90mins of physical activity each week.
4. to make a point of telling the people around me that they are important to me and that they are loved on a regular basis.
5. to spend more quality time with my daughter.
6. to meditate at least 10mins each day.
7. to raise a minimum of 2000$ for the August 2011 Week-end to end Women's Cancers.
8. to buy more local produce and meats and eat less processed foods.
9. to recycle more diligently
10. to smile more!!!!!!

Week 1: 233lbs